I've been wanting to post to the blog for a long time now but I haven't because truthfully, I've been super agitated lately and I don't want to write from a place of negativity. Anyone who knows me well knows that I can be very emotional, very sensitive, and I can complain a lot when things aren't going smoothly. Here's the thing about my complaining: I do not internalize anything. When I feel negativity inside me, I need to get it out. Be it by journaling, running, complaining etc. Sometimes I even cry. But I don't hold anything in. Any "negative" emotion that infiltrates my headspace is questioned and analyzed and dealt with and released. Because I can't be a good mom when I'm in that place.
Anyways, things get crazy around here with Tyler on the road so much. Deacon's started scooting around and getting into stuff so he requires a bit more energy. On top of that he's teething and not sleeping well at night. It's not uncommon for him to be up 3 times in a night. This past week I decided I am done with night-time nursing. I feel like if I don't stop now, I may be stuck doing it forever (obviously not forever but longer than I'd want to). He doesn't care to use a soother so getting him back to sleep is challenging, but he's actually getting the hang of it! After the first couple nights, I was very tired during the day. You don't feel like doing anything when you're so exhausted, yet there's so much that needs to be done! I find that it feels so much easier to be out and about with the kids than be at home where I can see everything that needs to be done but cannot find a way to tackle it. It has also been very refreshing to get out of our daily routine by going on little excursions.
Tyler is home today and today only for his dad's wedding and I am totally taking advantage of the extra parent in the house. I went to the gym this morning which was awesome but even just having another person to defer Hayden's millions of questions to has been a huge relief. It's the little things that require so much patience. "Mommy, what is this?" and "Why?" are big ones right now.
What I've been meaning to write about over the past week but couldn't find a way to say it without sounding distressed is: Where are all the inspirational leaders/spiritual teachers/"life coach" types that are also MOTHERS? I've had days when I just feel so done with cleaning up sparkles and changing diapers. Sometimes I feel resentful or bitter and I don't want to feel that way because I am SO grateful for my babies and my life. I LOVE them so much I can't even bear it, yet they drive me bonkers! So I go to the library and I read Eckhart Tolle, Deepak Chopra, Dr. Robert Holden. I understand their messages. They make perfect sense to me. Be grateful, free yourself from your ego, live peacefully, follow your dreams, create your own reality, trust in God! Honestly, I can't think of how grateful I am without getting tears in my eyes. There is no reality that I can or would want to create where my babies don't need me to be there for them 24/7. Like most mom's, I live for my children and that is something I know you cannot understand unless you are a mom. My list goes on: Oprah, Gabrielle Bernstein, Instagram's @yoga_girl - all women I look to for inspiration and guidance, yet none of them are moms. I'm just going to throw this out there, sorry if I offend anyone - Jesus, was not a mother. Buddha, was not a mother. Mother Theresa, not a real mother.
I guess what I'm trying to say here is that sometimes it feels like on the path to enlightenment there's a toll booth and mother's are asked to pay just a little bit more than everyone else. Because we're carrying our little ones with us. Do you get what I'm saying?
I hope everyone enjoys their weekends!! All my love and gratitude. And to the other moms out there feeling like sanity is a struggle, we're in this together!
XO Liza
Saturday 23 August 2014
Wednesday 6 August 2014
Do You Snooze Cruise?
Today we went for a snooze cruise. In other words, I drove around aimlessly so that I could get a break while my children chilled out in the back seat. I've only ever had two such jaunts in my time as a parent. I'm pretty conscientious about burning unnecessary fuel, so only in desperate times does the snooze cruise ensue.
I'll start from the beginning:
Two nights ago, Deacon awoke in the wee hours with a small but noticeable fever. Putting him back to sleep was difficult. He was hot and uncomfortable and super grouchy, not wanting to nurse OR be held. Eventually, I rocked him back to sleep. Same night, Hayden was up and down because of an itchy rash she had acquired during the day somehow. It was bothering her and I had to keep applying cream to it throughout the night.
Needless to say, the whole next day I was feeling pretty sluggish. But on the bright side, Deacon seemed fine! His fever had vanished and he was his normal self all day. As for Hayden, she wouldn't stop itching this damn rash! I'd decided she must have gotten poison ivy somehow. We had just been camping, after all. We continued with the hydrocortisone cream, which really seemed to help.
Well, then night came and all hell broke loose! Deacon's fever returned and Hayden wasn't sleeping. Deacon's crying woke up Hayden, then Hayden would reciprocate the gesture. I finally got to bed at around 4am. Hayden eventually crawled into bed with me at some point after that (which would never fly if Ty had been home).
So this morning Deacon's fever was gone again, which was good, but when I went to change his diaper, this terrible rash had cropped up out of no where! Was this somehow connected to the fever? I didn't know. And what was I going to do about Hayden's "poison ivy"? I called Health Links! "Bring them to the Dr.!" she said. OK. So I called their Dr. and luckily was able to get them in at 2:30, during naptime, but oh well.
It turned out, Deacon's fever was not at all related to the rash but because he has a tooth about to pop through (DUH! Why didn't I think of that?) and Hayden's rash is not poison ivy but possibly heat rash. She sent me away with a prescription for Deacon's bum and pep talk about keeping diaper rash at bay.
Off to the pharmacy we went! We only had to wait 15 minutes for the prescription to be filled, but 15 minutes of walking around a pharmacy with a two year old can be deadly! She picked out a brand new tooth brush and tooth paste, some bubble bath, a nail polish, some baby food for Deacon, and some candies that were on sale for 50 cents so I let her keep them. Everything else was left on some random shelf. I treated myself to an organic, naturally sweetened dark chocolate bar.
We got back into the car, strapped everyone in, and drove out of the parking lot. I gave Hayden her candies in the backseat and I opened my chocolate bar. Well, it was such a tasty chocolate bar, I decided I'd just drive around a bit longer until it was finished! Then, wouldn't you know it, Hayden, for some reason, didn't like her candies so I ate those too! Before I knew it, I was cruising down the perimeter with two sleeping kids in the back seat and a serious sugar high. I turned the tunes up and drove off into the sunset...and then down Chief Peguis and then home.
I have to say, this was a truly blissful experience amidst a very trying day. I returned home feeling SO much better. I have to wonder, do other moms snooze cruise?
Goodnight all!!
XO Liza
I'll start from the beginning:
Two nights ago, Deacon awoke in the wee hours with a small but noticeable fever. Putting him back to sleep was difficult. He was hot and uncomfortable and super grouchy, not wanting to nurse OR be held. Eventually, I rocked him back to sleep. Same night, Hayden was up and down because of an itchy rash she had acquired during the day somehow. It was bothering her and I had to keep applying cream to it throughout the night.
Needless to say, the whole next day I was feeling pretty sluggish. But on the bright side, Deacon seemed fine! His fever had vanished and he was his normal self all day. As for Hayden, she wouldn't stop itching this damn rash! I'd decided she must have gotten poison ivy somehow. We had just been camping, after all. We continued with the hydrocortisone cream, which really seemed to help.
Well, then night came and all hell broke loose! Deacon's fever returned and Hayden wasn't sleeping. Deacon's crying woke up Hayden, then Hayden would reciprocate the gesture. I finally got to bed at around 4am. Hayden eventually crawled into bed with me at some point after that (which would never fly if Ty had been home).
So this morning Deacon's fever was gone again, which was good, but when I went to change his diaper, this terrible rash had cropped up out of no where! Was this somehow connected to the fever? I didn't know. And what was I going to do about Hayden's "poison ivy"? I called Health Links! "Bring them to the Dr.!" she said. OK. So I called their Dr. and luckily was able to get them in at 2:30, during naptime, but oh well.
It turned out, Deacon's fever was not at all related to the rash but because he has a tooth about to pop through (DUH! Why didn't I think of that?) and Hayden's rash is not poison ivy but possibly heat rash. She sent me away with a prescription for Deacon's bum and pep talk about keeping diaper rash at bay.
Off to the pharmacy we went! We only had to wait 15 minutes for the prescription to be filled, but 15 minutes of walking around a pharmacy with a two year old can be deadly! She picked out a brand new tooth brush and tooth paste, some bubble bath, a nail polish, some baby food for Deacon, and some candies that were on sale for 50 cents so I let her keep them. Everything else was left on some random shelf. I treated myself to an organic, naturally sweetened dark chocolate bar.
We got back into the car, strapped everyone in, and drove out of the parking lot. I gave Hayden her candies in the backseat and I opened my chocolate bar. Well, it was such a tasty chocolate bar, I decided I'd just drive around a bit longer until it was finished! Then, wouldn't you know it, Hayden, for some reason, didn't like her candies so I ate those too! Before I knew it, I was cruising down the perimeter with two sleeping kids in the back seat and a serious sugar high. I turned the tunes up and drove off into the sunset...and then down Chief Peguis and then home.
I have to say, this was a truly blissful experience amidst a very trying day. I returned home feeling SO much better. I have to wonder, do other moms snooze cruise?
Goodnight all!!
XO Liza
Tuesday 5 August 2014
Goodbye July!! Part II
OK Reeewinnd!!! Before I continue my recap of wonderful July, I have to mention that I re-read Part I and realized that it might come across as negative to some. That was not my intention at all and please know that my personal feeling towards our whole experience is very far from negative. I am not going to lie, July was a challenging month: Ty was out of town a lot and we had a packed schedule. I found myself stepping out of my parenting comfort zone on many occasions. BUT with challenge comes growth and grow I did. I am steadfastly approaching super mom status.
Also, I forgot to mention a very joyous reunion that took place between myself and my longest, dearest friend, Miss Sara Jolene. She came home from Salt Spring Island for a few days during Folk Fest where she was working in the Hand-Made Village. (I love you Sara! xo)
July 19th marked the wedding day of our long time friend, Lee, to his wonderful fiance Mel. It was a beautiful wedding!! The weather was great. All of our friends, new and old, were there from near and far. We laughed, we cried (well, I did.), we danced, we sang, we ate, and drank, until the wee hours of the morning! Truthfully, I didn't drink nor did I stay very late because hungry Deacon was waiting for me in Balmoral but I still had an amazing time. The next day we returned to the wedding venue, Camp Manitou, for post-wedding festivities. Hayden and Tyler swam in the pool and we filled up on a yummy Ukrainian lunch.
That was a very busy day. I tried and tried to get Hayden out of the pool so we could get to a birthday party on time, but it was not easy. We were late and naps were skipped, but we eventually made it to our friend Grace's 2nd birthday! We were the stragglers, arriving after most guests had already left but we still had a great visit/play.
The whole week after that, I think we must have had some down time between events but I can't honestly remember. One thing of note is that Hayden is part of the Winnipeg Library's Summer Reading Club! So we've been spending quite a bit of time at the library (which is literally across the street, AND air-conditioned!!). On our slow days we usually walk there and I plunk Deacon on the floor in the kids section while Hayden and I search for books. Right now she loves Richard Scarry books and books about dinosaurs! Haha.
Oh yes, I mustn't forget a visit I had with one of my favourite people, Jodi Bonkowski, visiting alllll the way from jolly old England. It was so great to see her and this is just a minor observation, but she looks more and more lovely every time she comes home so I think London must be agreeing with her.
The last Tuesday of July Deacon had his 9 month check-up. He'd gained 1.5 lbs since his last weigh-in. So now he's almost 27 lbs putting him in the 99th percentile for weight and 97th for height. He's big. As you can imagine, I am becoming very very strong.
The last week of July a whole bunch of my family went up to Hecla for more camping! There were very few mosquitoes and the weather was again beautiful. It was quite the party. Altogether we occupied 4 camp-sites and my cousin, Katherine, and her 2 little ones stayed at the hotel. It was nice to have someone staying there so we could take advantage of their bathtub and the swimming pool! Rocky was SO well-behaved that trip! He had so much fun at the dog beach fetching gigantic timbers from the water.
Dad usually brings his guitar camping to play around the fire and when I had to chance to play it, I was so surprised at how much I remembered. I rarely practice and I didn't play at all while I was pregnant. Yet it all came back! It totally reignited my passion for music and now I'm actively seeking people to jam with so if you're interested, feel free to join me in my basement after my children to go bed!
That just about sums up the month of July! August has a lot to live up to. But if it turns out to be a more mellow month, I don't think I'll be disappointed.
XO Liza ;)
UPDATE: It has been called to my attention that a couple very notable events weren't mentioned! Hayden, Deacon, and I attended Ballet in the Park at some point in July. Hayden didn't seem like she was really paying attention while we were watching but apparently the ballet made quite the impression on her because she's been doing little pirouettes and pointing her toes ever since! I can't wait to put her in dance classes!!! :)
Also, I had a major day of relaxation on the Saturday afternoon before Hecla when I went in to town for cupping and a hot stone massage by my good friend Catherine Waterer. When you deprive yourself of these "spa treatments" you really truthfully do not know what you are missing. I strongly urge everyone to take the time to treat themselves to an afternoon of self-care. It makes alllllll the difference.
Also, I forgot to mention a very joyous reunion that took place between myself and my longest, dearest friend, Miss Sara Jolene. She came home from Salt Spring Island for a few days during Folk Fest where she was working in the Hand-Made Village. (I love you Sara! xo)
July 19th marked the wedding day of our long time friend, Lee, to his wonderful fiance Mel. It was a beautiful wedding!! The weather was great. All of our friends, new and old, were there from near and far. We laughed, we cried (well, I did.), we danced, we sang, we ate, and drank, until the wee hours of the morning! Truthfully, I didn't drink nor did I stay very late because hungry Deacon was waiting for me in Balmoral but I still had an amazing time. The next day we returned to the wedding venue, Camp Manitou, for post-wedding festivities. Hayden and Tyler swam in the pool and we filled up on a yummy Ukrainian lunch.
That was a very busy day. I tried and tried to get Hayden out of the pool so we could get to a birthday party on time, but it was not easy. We were late and naps were skipped, but we eventually made it to our friend Grace's 2nd birthday! We were the stragglers, arriving after most guests had already left but we still had a great visit/play.
The whole week after that, I think we must have had some down time between events but I can't honestly remember. One thing of note is that Hayden is part of the Winnipeg Library's Summer Reading Club! So we've been spending quite a bit of time at the library (which is literally across the street, AND air-conditioned!!). On our slow days we usually walk there and I plunk Deacon on the floor in the kids section while Hayden and I search for books. Right now she loves Richard Scarry books and books about dinosaurs! Haha.
Oh yes, I mustn't forget a visit I had with one of my favourite people, Jodi Bonkowski, visiting alllll the way from jolly old England. It was so great to see her and this is just a minor observation, but she looks more and more lovely every time she comes home so I think London must be agreeing with her.
The last Tuesday of July Deacon had his 9 month check-up. He'd gained 1.5 lbs since his last weigh-in. So now he's almost 27 lbs putting him in the 99th percentile for weight and 97th for height. He's big. As you can imagine, I am becoming very very strong.
The last week of July a whole bunch of my family went up to Hecla for more camping! There were very few mosquitoes and the weather was again beautiful. It was quite the party. Altogether we occupied 4 camp-sites and my cousin, Katherine, and her 2 little ones stayed at the hotel. It was nice to have someone staying there so we could take advantage of their bathtub and the swimming pool! Rocky was SO well-behaved that trip! He had so much fun at the dog beach fetching gigantic timbers from the water.
Dad usually brings his guitar camping to play around the fire and when I had to chance to play it, I was so surprised at how much I remembered. I rarely practice and I didn't play at all while I was pregnant. Yet it all came back! It totally reignited my passion for music and now I'm actively seeking people to jam with so if you're interested, feel free to join me in my basement after my children to go bed!
That just about sums up the month of July! August has a lot to live up to. But if it turns out to be a more mellow month, I don't think I'll be disappointed.
XO Liza ;)
UPDATE: It has been called to my attention that a couple very notable events weren't mentioned! Hayden, Deacon, and I attended Ballet in the Park at some point in July. Hayden didn't seem like she was really paying attention while we were watching but apparently the ballet made quite the impression on her because she's been doing little pirouettes and pointing her toes ever since! I can't wait to put her in dance classes!!! :)
Also, I had a major day of relaxation on the Saturday afternoon before Hecla when I went in to town for cupping and a hot stone massage by my good friend Catherine Waterer. When you deprive yourself of these "spa treatments" you really truthfully do not know what you are missing. I strongly urge everyone to take the time to treat themselves to an afternoon of self-care. It makes alllllll the difference.
Sunday 3 August 2014
Goodbye July!! Part I
July was an absolute roller-coaster of a month. We were here, there, and everywhere and barely had a day to relax. So now I'm going to recap it all as best I can!!!
First, I'll just say, I know I've been really crumby at updating my blog this summer! I'm finding things getting a tad more hectic the older Deacon gets. When he was a little baby he was kind of more predictable with his naps and therefore I was able to fit in time to blog. Now, he's moving around, he's getting a lot more active and taking a lot more of my ever-abundant energy. So when I have some downtown, you can find me napping or writing in my gratitude journal (which, by the way, has helped tremendously to bring me out of my mid-summer slump).
OK so July began, as it does every year, with the celebration of our fabulous country's independence. I had wanted to plan something super fun for Canada Day. I'm not too keen on wading through throngs of people as is often the case for big Canada Day celebrations, so The Forks and Assiniboine Park were out of the question. I decided on Gimli for the day. Gimli is a favourite destination of ours because that's where Uncle Scotty lives. Plus, they have the lake/beach, an awesome splash-pad, plenty of picnic space, and on Canada Day there was to be a parade and other activities in the park. But, do we all remember how lovely the weather was leading up to this joyous occasion?? I do. And I prayed for it to be over by Canada Day. Thankfully, the rain was minimal while we watched the parade, but the wind was harsh and everything was wet and cold. Anything on our picnic table that wasn't weighted down was blown irretrievably off into oblivion. I was in such a bad mood, I think I actually shook my fist at the sky.
The following Sunday I attended a friend's wedding shower, which was so fun and a very much needed baby break. Then, as soon as I got home on Sunday afternoon I (almost) literally threw Hayden, Deacon, and Rocky into the car with all our camping gear and high-tailed it out to Falcon Lake where all our family had their campers for the week. Tyler left on his motorcycle before us as he had to be home a day early for work. It was not the most pleasant car ride as Deacon cried a lot of the way. Hayden "cried wolf" twice for potty stops, both times never actually peeing. The mosquitoes were VERY pleased with our presence on the shoulder of the highway. Camping was fun. Since I was very small my most anticipated summer events have been camping trips with the Latta's.
We came home from Falcon on Wednesday, relaxed for a couple days, then Friday we dropped Ty off at the airport and I couldn't help but be a little worried as he flew off to Las Vegas for our friend, Lee's, stag. "Where is Daddy going?" asked little Hayden. "He's going to Las Vegas." I replied. Hayden, hearing LOST instead of LAS said, "Is daddy lost in Vegas?". Egad.
Trying my best to forget about Tyler in Las Vegas, I had a stagette of my own to attend! (not my own, but of my friend, Laine.) Saturday, July 12, would mark my very first time witnessing the ridiculousness that is male stripping. I can't say I'm chomping at the bit to experience that again. But it completely fit the occasion.
Tyler made it home safe and sound on Monday. Then that whole week I think I just tried to "get caught up on housework". Try as I might, I am never caught up on housework. There are always random toys and objects littered haphazardly around the entire house. I could spend a whole day picking random objects/toys off the floor and returning them to their rightful places, only to find a whole new set of random objects/toys left in other random places when I'm "finished". It never ends! When I'm cleaning, my two main objectives are to keep the laundry done and the kitchen clean. As long as I have those two area's taken care of, I can somewhat relax. But looking at my floors makes me shudder.
Part II following very shortly!!! Much love all!! xo Liza
First, I'll just say, I know I've been really crumby at updating my blog this summer! I'm finding things getting a tad more hectic the older Deacon gets. When he was a little baby he was kind of more predictable with his naps and therefore I was able to fit in time to blog. Now, he's moving around, he's getting a lot more active and taking a lot more of my ever-abundant energy. So when I have some downtown, you can find me napping or writing in my gratitude journal (which, by the way, has helped tremendously to bring me out of my mid-summer slump).
OK so July began, as it does every year, with the celebration of our fabulous country's independence. I had wanted to plan something super fun for Canada Day. I'm not too keen on wading through throngs of people as is often the case for big Canada Day celebrations, so The Forks and Assiniboine Park were out of the question. I decided on Gimli for the day. Gimli is a favourite destination of ours because that's where Uncle Scotty lives. Plus, they have the lake/beach, an awesome splash-pad, plenty of picnic space, and on Canada Day there was to be a parade and other activities in the park. But, do we all remember how lovely the weather was leading up to this joyous occasion?? I do. And I prayed for it to be over by Canada Day. Thankfully, the rain was minimal while we watched the parade, but the wind was harsh and everything was wet and cold. Anything on our picnic table that wasn't weighted down was blown irretrievably off into oblivion. I was in such a bad mood, I think I actually shook my fist at the sky.
The following Sunday I attended a friend's wedding shower, which was so fun and a very much needed baby break. Then, as soon as I got home on Sunday afternoon I (almost) literally threw Hayden, Deacon, and Rocky into the car with all our camping gear and high-tailed it out to Falcon Lake where all our family had their campers for the week. Tyler left on his motorcycle before us as he had to be home a day early for work. It was not the most pleasant car ride as Deacon cried a lot of the way. Hayden "cried wolf" twice for potty stops, both times never actually peeing. The mosquitoes were VERY pleased with our presence on the shoulder of the highway. Camping was fun. Since I was very small my most anticipated summer events have been camping trips with the Latta's.
We came home from Falcon on Wednesday, relaxed for a couple days, then Friday we dropped Ty off at the airport and I couldn't help but be a little worried as he flew off to Las Vegas for our friend, Lee's, stag. "Where is Daddy going?" asked little Hayden. "He's going to Las Vegas." I replied. Hayden, hearing LOST instead of LAS said, "Is daddy lost in Vegas?". Egad.
Trying my best to forget about Tyler in Las Vegas, I had a stagette of my own to attend! (not my own, but of my friend, Laine.) Saturday, July 12, would mark my very first time witnessing the ridiculousness that is male stripping. I can't say I'm chomping at the bit to experience that again. But it completely fit the occasion.
Tyler made it home safe and sound on Monday. Then that whole week I think I just tried to "get caught up on housework". Try as I might, I am never caught up on housework. There are always random toys and objects littered haphazardly around the entire house. I could spend a whole day picking random objects/toys off the floor and returning them to their rightful places, only to find a whole new set of random objects/toys left in other random places when I'm "finished". It never ends! When I'm cleaning, my two main objectives are to keep the laundry done and the kitchen clean. As long as I have those two area's taken care of, I can somewhat relax. But looking at my floors makes me shudder.
Part II following very shortly!!! Much love all!! xo Liza
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