October 1 - 7 is “World Breastfeeding Week” (in Canada) so I’ve decided now would be the appropriate time to share with the World my 1st timer breastfeeding experience. By “experience” I do NOT mean “expertise”. I’ve only breastfed 1 baby. But now that I’m about to embark on this journey again, the breastfeeding topic has been on my mind a lot lately.
Before Hayden was born I fully intended to breastfeed. I read everything I could. I studied the diagrams of the different ways of holding the baby. I was as prepared as I could be. I realized soon after Hayden was born that there were some things that I just couldn’t prepare myself for. I honestly wished someone had said to me before Hayden was born, “Look, this is how it really is.” and filled me in on all the dirty details.
For one, I had no idea about this “let down” reflex! I literally drowned Hayden in milk every morning for the first few weeks or more. There’s just no controlling it! I remember being like, “Oh no, here it comes!! Sorry!!!” She eventually got used to it. That was the only reason I didn’t like to breastfeed in public at first. Too messy. BUT this all passed and we went on to enjoy a much dryer breastfeeding relationship!
Second, Cluster Feeding. Right?! So you’re nursing your baby, they seem finished, so you put them down. Only to pick them up 10 minutes later because they’re hungry again?? And this goes on all day?? And night? Yep! I can remember one prominent cluster feeding when Hayden was maybe 4 weeks old. I was so close to going to buy formula because she seemed like she was starving and there was nothing there! I called the public health nurse and was like, “wtf is going on?” She said, “oh its just cluster feeding. When the baby is about to have a growth spurt they nurse a lot to build your milk supply.” NOW you tell me. She went on to cluster feed every night from 10 to midnight in the first few months. I’m assuming most newborns do this? I still don’t know. After the newborn stage was over, there was no more cluster feeding.
I also struggled with knowing when and how much to nurse Hayden. Everything I’d read said “Nurse your baby whenever they seem hungry.” Other people always said, “Get her on a schedule!!“ Hayden cried a lot as a newborn and so to me, she always seemed hungry. Nursing was the only thing that ever really calmed her! She wouldn’t suck on a soother, which I didn’t mind because I was anti-soother at the time. I tried giving it to her anyways because of the people who said, “Don’t let her use you as a pacifier!!” This is ultimately what happened, but when I looked at the bigger picture: How long is she even a baby for? What kind of “bad habits” could this possibly employ? If she needs comforting, then why shouldn‘t her mother be the one to comfort her? She didn’t develop any bad habits and eventually she gladly accepted the soother when she was maybe 3 months old.
It was a challenge to get the hang of breastfeeding. EVERY tiny story of other people’s struggles freaked me right out. I eventually decided to scrap everything I’d read and ignore everything everyone told me and just let breastfeeding take on the natural process that its meant to be. Look at animals. They all nurse their young. They don’t use nipple shields or have lactation consultants. They don’t have scheduled feedings or soothers. How are humans so different? Because we’re intelligent? That we’re able to break breastfeeding down to a science and write a book about it? Its not meant to be complicated. It can‘t be! I felt a lot more comfortable after accepting that there is no “right way” when it comes to breastfeeding. If your baby is healthy and thriving, you’re doing it right. I literally pretended I was a chimpanzee in the jungle and that Hayden was a baby monkey. I always thought, What would an “uninformed” animal do right now? I’m weird.
ALL of these “bumps” took place in the first couple months. Once Hayden was past her fussy newborn stage, we found our “rhythm” and breastfeeding went on to be an amazing experience. Hayden was breastfed for almost 11 months, exclusively for the first 5. I may have breastfed longer than 11 months had I not been getting married in August, but I really didn’t want to be nursing a baby in my wedding dress. Hayden didn’t seem to care about it at that point anyways.
It all seems so insignificant now, which is maybe why no one ever thinks their own experiences are worth sharing! I’m now waiting for the arrival of baby Number Two who I also intend to breastfeed. I hope everything in this department goes as planned! I have faith that it will.
Wish me luck the second time around!!
Liza
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