Raising a toddler has really made me question what it means to live peacefully and mindfully. I'm not writing this because of one specific incident that is still bringing up feelings of frustration. This has been on my mind constantly since the day Hayden developed a mind of her own. It's not even that Hayden is a particularly "terrible" two. But anyone who knows what two year olds are like can most likely relate.
You see, I have this intention to live a peaceful and positive existence, as I'm sure most people do. I want each moment to be met with as little resistance as possible. Naturally. I want to live in the moment, not riddled with a mind full of questions and concerns. Not always strategizing and formulating plans and routines. I want to live through a natural flow of things. Zen.
Enter the 2.5 year old. The two year old is not Zen. A two year old is not open minded, they do not embrace change, and they certainly don't go with the flow. For most toddlers, what's theirs is not yours. Hayden is a decent sharer I'll give her that. But change her routine and we pay for it dearly.
Toddler behaviour really makes me wonder, What is the meaning of this?? Babies are so sweet. They are born SO innocent and helpless, then within a matter of months they morph into little anarchists. I have to get behind the eyes of a two year old. They've had everything done for them their entire lives and then all of a sudden they discover that THEY are actually the ones in control of what they do! So they want to take advantage of it.
I find it so amusing that the natural instinct of a person at the "tender" age of two is to rebel. They want to think for themselves. Not only do they want the power to choose, they want the freedom to carry out their choices. Like, no wonder humans are always fighting for some sort of reform. We've been doing it since we were tots! Then as children we get blindsided by the many distractions placed in our line of vision. Maybe we forget that there's anything worth fighting for.
Anyways, unfortunately for toddlers, their choices are not always safe or practical, and their communication skills aren't the greatest. As a parent I often find myself flipping between "dictator" and "guide." While I'd love to spend my entire day helping Hayden express herself in creative and constructive ways, ain't nobody got time fo dat!! As a stay at home mom you'd think my life would be devoted to that, but let me tell you, it's exhausting and I get very few breaks with Tyler being on the road literally all the time.
Honestly, I don't know much about kids, but one thing I know for sure, a peaceful household doesn't happen once you've got all your toddlers straightened out, it happens within yourself first. The balance is so so hard to maintain, but when it's there.... Zen.
Love & Light
Liza :)
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