Down Time

So I somehow managed to come down with a bout of shingles.  Shingles: a dreadful itchy yet painful rash that affects those with high stress levels and weak immune systems.  At first I was honestly baffled at how I, the epitome of health, could have possibly been so unfortunate.  I get a sniffley nose (I wouldn't even call it a cold) maybe once a year.  Every day I thank the powers that be for my incredible immune system.

So immune system asside, let's talk about my "stress levels".  I feel like there must be way more people out there in higher stress situations than me who don't have shingles.  I mean I'm not fighting crime in the streets of downtown (enter name of rough city here) or anything.  I'm not performing brain surgury!  I'm only taking care of my children.  That's it.  Yet, holy shit am I ever stressed out!! 

When Tyler is home, this is a breeze.  Especially if he is home for any of length of time.  But for the past I-don't-know-how-many months he's only been home the odd weekend here or there.  Most days I totally accept the craziness and I'm fine with it.  Get up, maintain lives of children, go to sleep (if I'm lucky).  But, sometimes I don't want to play toddler games, wash dirty faces, lug around a 25 lb 6 month old.  Then I feel so guilty, like poor Hayden and Deacon!  It's not their fault!  Suck it up Liza!

Naturally, I'm left to take my frustrations out on Tyler.  Last Wednesday morning Tyler left to go to Sault Ste Marie for about a week for work.  I was surprised when later on that morning he came in the front door.  Standing over Deacon at the change table and still in my pj's I asked, "What are you doing home?"

"I had to stop on my way out of town to grab my golf clubs.  Just so I have something to do in my down time," said Tyler.

Down time.  How nice.

Honestly, it's gotten to the point where I don't remember what down time feels like and that's a damn good thing otherwise Ty probably wouldn't have made it safely out of the house with his golf clubs.

But like, Hayden was sick last week, Deacon was sick this week, my grass is almost a foot high, and I fogot to put my garbage and recycling out today.  So this month has not been a walk in the park.  It's been a challenge but I'm rolling with it.  Yes, I know it could be worse.

That said, the purpose of this blog is not just so I can go on about how awesome my life is.  I would feel like a fraud if I were to lead everyone to believe every day is sunshine and rainbows.  I just want to be real so that people can relate because that way we all feel better, right?!?

OK I'm going to bed now.

XO Liza