I wasn't going to do a post about potty training because I know it's not the lovliest of subjects and not everyone can relate. BUT, I've realized that something MUST be said simply because potty training Hayden was one of the more excrutiating tasks that parenthood has presented to me thus far.
Having only "trained" 1 kid, I won't presume to have any skill on potty training at all. My only intention here is to share my experience just in case it has some value to other moms in my position. I know it was a major help to me during the dark days to hear that I wasn't alone!
Hayden really did not embrace the whole concept of going in the potty. If it were up to her, she might still be in diapers today. But we pushed through, and now I think it's safe to say that there is no going back. She's in it for the long haul! This is our potty training journey from the very beginning:
When Hayden was maybe 16 months old, we put a $3 Ikea potty in the bathroom. At that point, we didn't make a big deal about her using it as she was still very young. She had only begun walking at 15 months so she was a long way from being able to sit herself down on it, in fact she still needs help sitting down on it! Eventually it became part of her bedtime routine that every night after her bath she would sit down and go before we put her jammies on. I thought I was on the right track, but no, I was not.
One thing the potty training methods always make reference to are the signs of readiness. In my opinion, don't even pay attention to that. A toddler may seem like they're physically ready or SHOULD be ready, but if they're not mentally ready then it is absolutely pointless to do ANYTHING to try to get them to go on the potty. Or at least this was my experience. You would think that if your kid tells you they have to go and stops going in their diapers then they must be ready to go on the potty. Not Hayden. Once presented with the potty as an alternative to going "elsewhere", it was as if I was asking her to sit on a bed of hot coals.
I quit all potty training attempts when I found out I was pregnant because I'd heard about kids regressing after a new baby was born. Then when Deacon was about 3 months old and Hayden was just over 2 I thought, OK she MUST be ready now. But it was the same struggle all over again!
At my most frustrated point I tried to put myself into her position just so that I could somehow get inside her head. Like, WHY doesn't she want to sit on the potty?! What could she be thinking? I remembered back to when I was 16 and trying to get my driver's lisence. It took me a very long time and I had to take my driving test 5 times. The 4th time I failed I was extremely discouraged and I had NO intention of doing it again. I had accepted the fact that I would be a life-long pedestrian and had no problem with that. But my mom said, "You are getting your lisence and that's that!" Sure enough I passed it on the 5th try and I'm certain my mom wished she'd let me be a life-long pedestrian from that point on.
Anyways, it hurt to think that maybe Hayden was just so discouraged that she'd given up or was too afraid to try and after that, it was a lot easier for me to have compassion for what she was going through.
Looking back, there are of things I would have done differently:
1) I wouldn't have introduced the potty so early. The potty was always just this optional thing in the bathroom and then all of a sudden one day she HAD to use it. I think that was confusing to her. Next kid, I won't tell him to go in the potty until I fully intend to begin potty-training.
2) Not sticking to any one method. I just assumed potty training would be a piece of cake so I didn't do any research or anything. I believe that if we had done the 3 Day Method from the beginning, it would have worked but at that point I think Hayden was like, "What do you want from me you crazy lady!?!?". The 3 Day Method took a week, but following those guidelines it worked in the end.
I feel like I would have to have a few more kids before I can say, "This is how you potty train." But this is what I learned from one kid so we'll see how it goes for the next one! I'm actually looking forward to it now that I've learned the hard way!
If you are about to embark on this mission, stay positive! Stay calm! They won't be in diapers forever!
Much love,
Liza :)
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