So I somehow managed to come down with a bout of shingles. Shingles: a dreadful itchy yet painful rash that affects those with high stress levels and weak immune systems. At first I was honestly baffled at how I, the epitome of health, could have possibly been so unfortunate. I get a sniffley nose (I wouldn't even call it a cold) maybe once a year. Every day I thank the powers that be for my incredible immune system.
So immune system asside, let's talk about my "stress levels". I feel like there must be way more people out there in higher stress situations than me who don't have shingles. I mean I'm not fighting crime in the streets of downtown (enter name of rough city here) or anything. I'm not performing brain surgury! I'm only taking care of my children. That's it. Yet, holy shit am I ever stressed out!!
When Tyler is home, this is a breeze. Especially if he is home for any of length of time. But for the past I-don't-know-how-many months he's only been home the odd weekend here or there. Most days I totally accept the craziness and I'm fine with it. Get up, maintain lives of children, go to sleep (if I'm lucky). But, sometimes I don't want to play toddler games, wash dirty faces, lug around a 25 lb 6 month old. Then I feel so guilty, like poor Hayden and Deacon! It's not their fault! Suck it up Liza!
Naturally, I'm left to take my frustrations out on Tyler. Last Wednesday morning Tyler left to go to Sault Ste Marie for about a week for work. I was surprised when later on that morning he came in the front door. Standing over Deacon at the change table and still in my pj's I asked, "What are you doing home?"
"I had to stop on my way out of town to grab my golf clubs. Just so I have something to do in my down time," said Tyler.
Down time. How nice.
Honestly, it's gotten to the point where I don't remember what down time feels like and that's a damn good thing otherwise Ty probably wouldn't have made it safely out of the house with his golf clubs.
But like, Hayden was sick last week, Deacon was sick this week, my grass is almost a foot high, and I fogot to put my garbage and recycling out today. So this month has not been a walk in the park. It's been a challenge but I'm rolling with it. Yes, I know it could be worse.
That said, the purpose of this blog is not just so I can go on about how awesome my life is. I would feel like a fraud if I were to lead everyone to believe every day is sunshine and rainbows. I just want to be real so that people can relate because that way we all feel better, right?!?
OK I'm going to bed now.
XO Liza
Thursday 29 May 2014
Wednesday 14 May 2014
Toddler Talk 2
Raising a toddler has really made me question what it means to live peacefully and mindfully. I'm not writing this because of one specific incident that is still bringing up feelings of frustration. This has been on my mind constantly since the day Hayden developed a mind of her own. It's not even that Hayden is a particularly "terrible" two. But anyone who knows what two year olds are like can most likely relate.
You see, I have this intention to live a peaceful and positive existence, as I'm sure most people do. I want each moment to be met with as little resistance as possible. Naturally. I want to live in the moment, not riddled with a mind full of questions and concerns. Not always strategizing and formulating plans and routines. I want to live through a natural flow of things. Zen.
Enter the 2.5 year old. The two year old is not Zen. A two year old is not open minded, they do not embrace change, and they certainly don't go with the flow. For most toddlers, what's theirs is not yours. Hayden is a decent sharer I'll give her that. But change her routine and we pay for it dearly.
Toddler behaviour really makes me wonder, What is the meaning of this?? Babies are so sweet. They are born SO innocent and helpless, then within a matter of months they morph into little anarchists. I have to get behind the eyes of a two year old. They've had everything done for them their entire lives and then all of a sudden they discover that THEY are actually the ones in control of what they do! So they want to take advantage of it.
I find it so amusing that the natural instinct of a person at the "tender" age of two is to rebel. They want to think for themselves. Not only do they want the power to choose, they want the freedom to carry out their choices. Like, no wonder humans are always fighting for some sort of reform. We've been doing it since we were tots! Then as children we get blindsided by the many distractions placed in our line of vision. Maybe we forget that there's anything worth fighting for.
Anyways, unfortunately for toddlers, their choices are not always safe or practical, and their communication skills aren't the greatest. As a parent I often find myself flipping between "dictator" and "guide." While I'd love to spend my entire day helping Hayden express herself in creative and constructive ways, ain't nobody got time fo dat!! As a stay at home mom you'd think my life would be devoted to that, but let me tell you, it's exhausting and I get very few breaks with Tyler being on the road literally all the time.
Honestly, I don't know much about kids, but one thing I know for sure, a peaceful household doesn't happen once you've got all your toddlers straightened out, it happens within yourself first. The balance is so so hard to maintain, but when it's there.... Zen.
Love & Light
Liza :)
You see, I have this intention to live a peaceful and positive existence, as I'm sure most people do. I want each moment to be met with as little resistance as possible. Naturally. I want to live in the moment, not riddled with a mind full of questions and concerns. Not always strategizing and formulating plans and routines. I want to live through a natural flow of things. Zen.
Enter the 2.5 year old. The two year old is not Zen. A two year old is not open minded, they do not embrace change, and they certainly don't go with the flow. For most toddlers, what's theirs is not yours. Hayden is a decent sharer I'll give her that. But change her routine and we pay for it dearly.
Toddler behaviour really makes me wonder, What is the meaning of this?? Babies are so sweet. They are born SO innocent and helpless, then within a matter of months they morph into little anarchists. I have to get behind the eyes of a two year old. They've had everything done for them their entire lives and then all of a sudden they discover that THEY are actually the ones in control of what they do! So they want to take advantage of it.
I find it so amusing that the natural instinct of a person at the "tender" age of two is to rebel. They want to think for themselves. Not only do they want the power to choose, they want the freedom to carry out their choices. Like, no wonder humans are always fighting for some sort of reform. We've been doing it since we were tots! Then as children we get blindsided by the many distractions placed in our line of vision. Maybe we forget that there's anything worth fighting for.
Anyways, unfortunately for toddlers, their choices are not always safe or practical, and their communication skills aren't the greatest. As a parent I often find myself flipping between "dictator" and "guide." While I'd love to spend my entire day helping Hayden express herself in creative and constructive ways, ain't nobody got time fo dat!! As a stay at home mom you'd think my life would be devoted to that, but let me tell you, it's exhausting and I get very few breaks with Tyler being on the road literally all the time.
Honestly, I don't know much about kids, but one thing I know for sure, a peaceful household doesn't happen once you've got all your toddlers straightened out, it happens within yourself first. The balance is so so hard to maintain, but when it's there.... Zen.
Love & Light
Liza :)
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